im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
