I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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