My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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