We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Randomize
