So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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