He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
