are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
