Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
