Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
