i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Pooping to opera.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
