you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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