I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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