Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
