I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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