You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So squirting runs in the family.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
