He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
MIDGETS
????
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
