Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
