I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize