I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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