I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
