i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
