Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
