Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
