I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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