yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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