So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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