am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
