Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
