your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
