Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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