So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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