24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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