Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
