I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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