You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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