i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
