when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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