I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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