My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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