Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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