Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
