Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
