It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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