Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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