just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
