I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
