also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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