So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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