I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
