Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Acid is not a monday night drug
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
