whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
