I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
