Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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