You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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