When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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