There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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