The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
