If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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