Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
