so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
