i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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