Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
No subtext here. People are naked.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
